


The Bubble

by sansasnarks



Category: Sense8 (TV)
Genre: Character Study, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 10:44:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14893148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sansasnarks/pseuds/sansasnarks
Summary: Rajan, Kala, and Wolfgang finally have their talk. Post series finale.





	The Bubble

**Author's Note:**

> I probably shouldn't be posting this at 1 AM but whoops that finale slayed me, I'm Thriving, and I have no patience or self control.

Kala was happy in her bubble - a bubble that a certain Will Gorski kept poking at, threatening to pop. Kala loved her fellow cluster member, but she didn’t need to have Will looking at her going, “ _ You three should  _ **_really_ ** _ talk, Kala _ ,” every time she turned around. Including now, when  _ all  _ she wanted to do was toast her bread and enjoy her chai in peace. 

 

“I know,” she insists. “I  _ do _ . It’s just...we’re just…” She trailed off, sighing, unsure of what to say.  _ We’re happy? We’ll get around to it? We will but we don’t need you pushing us to do so because it needs to be with  _ **_us_ ** _ and not  _ **_you?_ ** She didn’t know how to finish the sentence, didn’t know how to say it without sounding snippy or defensive - because it  _ would _ , she worried, and Will didn’t deserve that, not when he was trying to help. 

 

Will studied Kala, and an all-too-familiar sympathetic look crossed his face. 

 

“Yeah,” he sighed. “I know.” 

 

He wrapped Kala up in a hug, giving her a squeeze and a small, “ _ I know you can do it _ ,” before he was gone, and Kala was alone again. 

 

She knew they should talk. It’s been two weeks of kissing, spooning, and sex ( _ lots _ of it; Kala’s never really thought about sex before marriage, but her thoughts didn’t include having a threesome with her husband and her lover, and it  _ definitely  _ didn’t include the mental orgies that so often occurred).

It was...unconventional, but she was happy. She knows Wolfgang is happy - he’s taken to Rajan in a way that he never did before he met him in person, and Rajan seems happy. It’s a little unnerving, trying to navigate his feelings when she’s not connected to him - Kala has always had a hard time separating emotions for  _ herself _ , much less than for other people, and it had been almost a relief to have been connected to seven other people, to know for certain how others felt, and she almost wishes Rajan were one of them, that she could  _ know  _ that he’s all right with this and not just going along with it for her. And from there, her mind goes on its general anxiety - because she notices things, even in their bubble. 

 

Rajan will lovingly call her “ _ my wife _ ” and she will respond in turn, “ _ my husband _ .” She doesn’t need the names for Wolfgang - he’s  _ Wolfgang _ , and always will be, he’s a constant, a beacon. But whenever Rajan calls her the little pet name and she returns it in kind, a little shadow of guilt will pass Rajan’s face as he tries not to look over at Wolfgang, and she’s reminded that Wolfgang  _ isn’t  _ that constant for Rajan, Wolfgang is the man Rajan has known for a few weeks, and Rajan wants a name for Wolfgang and is at a loss at what to call him. 

 

Wolfgang will kiss her, deeply, before he leaves the house, but there’s a brief pause, a 2 second pause that hangs in the air as her turns to Rajan, a 2 second pause where she feels her own panic and Wolfgang’s uncertainty, his fear that he’ll come on too strong too fast or that Rajan will flinch away, Rajan’s flickering smile as he worries that maybe Wolfgang doesn’t want this, a 2 second pause that hangs throughout the room until it’s  _ suffocating  _ Kala, and right when she thinks she’s going to scream for them to please, by all the Gods do  _ something _ ,  _ anything _ before we have to talk about the fact that we  _ don’t know what we’re doing _ , Wolfgang or Rajan will decisively give the other a peck on the lips and Wolfgang is out the door and all is restored. 

 

And Kala adamantly does  _ not  _ want to talk about it, what they’re doing, because if she does, it will all fade away. If they break the bubble they might realize that it’s all for naught. After all, it was only up until two weeks ago,she was stuck in a constant struggle - being loyal to her husband, or being loyal to her heart. She frowns at the phrasing.  _ That’s not quite right, not now _ , she thinks, but she can’t go down that route, not quite yet, and so instead she allows herself a sip of her chai. It’s Wagh Bakri, her favorite - Rajan had heard her mention that it was her favorite tea once, and now her cupboard is overflowing with the tea packets. It had been sweet of him, but then again,  _ everything  _ he did was sweet. She remembers thinking it was why she  _ should  _ say yes two years ago, thinking that she should love him, that he was straight out of a Bollywood movie and that she’d be a fool not to be in love, and everyone  _ else  _ said she had loved him, so why shouldn’t she? Her parents were ecstatic, her aunties and uncles were talking up the house all night going on about how they usually didn’t care for love marriages but  _ these  _ two, yes, these two were clearly a match, even their astrologer said so, so it  _ had to be _ . 

 

And Kala had let herself marry Rajan, because what good Indian daughter  _ wouldn’t _ ? Her parents didn’t force her, they would never force her, but the  _ pride  _ on their faces as they sat down with Rajan’s family, the sheer joy, the love that exuded from them when they told her how  _ joyful  _ they were to be planning this wedding for their dear daughter. 

 

So she did what any good daughter would do, and when she said yes to Rajan, she prepared to be what any good wife would be. 

 

And then Angelica had given Kala a new life and seven other souls and Wolfgang appeared and she knew  _ love _ , passionate, all-consuming, wholehearted  _ love _ , love that was not only felt for her but  _ by  _ her for the first time. And she could live with it, surprisingly. She was allowed her secrets, and it’s not like she could ever  _ avoid  _ him. There was a moment, Kala thinks, that she decided that if this was her life, to be married to Rajan and be an... _ adulteress _ , that maybe she could do it. Or perhaps, she could divorce Rajan; it would break his heart but he deserved love,  _ true love _ , so maybe she could speak to him and let him know and he’d be so horrified or think her mad and free her from her conundrum for her. It was simple. Easy. Her family would be disappointed, but also let her know that they would support her, and want her to be happy. There was a path, and it would lead her to Wolfgang, and there’d be no other option. 

 

But then, the worst happened: she began to feel a spark for Rajan. She doesn’t realize when it happens, but over time she smiles at him and every smile becomes fonder, and when he laughs it’s a high-pitched giggle and Kala will snort in response because it’s  _ cute _ , and she realizes that she could be happy with Rajan, not in a way that makes her feel like she settled but in a true, actually  _ happy  _ way, and it rocks her to her core. Her parents had always told her that they had grown into their love, and she has a few friends who had arranged marriages and swore up and down that the love grows and develops. Kala had snorted - obviously her parents loved each other, but they were an exception to a flawed system, and part of her never believed some of her friends when they claimed their love for their husbands, because  _ how  _ could you commit your life to someone who you had met for a day before agreeing to marry them, and  _ how  _ could you grow to love them? Kala knows this, and she also knows the countless uncles and aunties who resent each other but stay together because if they do it’s  _ shameful _ , not because of love and devotion, and she says this to everyone who will listen. 

 

But (and there’s yet another  _ but  _ that consumes every thought she has  _ every time  _ she thinks she has it all figured out) her parents still grew to love each other, and maybe some of her friends weren’t lying after all, because Kala  _ knows  _ she can never resent Rajan, that she wants to stay with him not out of a sense of wifely duty or breaking his heart but because there’s a part of  _ her  _ that wants to be with him, simply because he’s  _ Rajan _ and she can’t imagine them not being together. And when she tells him her truth, her whole truth, and he still proclaims his love for her and not only that but he embraces  _ Wolfgang _ into that and it’s amazing and she realizes that  _ he’s  _ not the person she thought he was either, and that maybe losing him right now wouldn’t be as much of an ache as losing Wolfgang would but it would be an ache all the same, and the little spark has grown to a small crackling fire and she thinks it could be  _ more _ given time. 

 

But there’s still Wolfgang. There is Wolfgang and Rajan and the unspoken conversation that needs to be had hanging over the three of them, and she doesn’t know how to breach that. Anything other than monogamy has never been an option for Kala. She doesn’t think anyone in her family even really truly understands what polyamory is. She’s been fairly lucky - her friends always used to complain to her about how their parents weren’t understanding. How they cared more about what their community thought more than their actual children’s happiness, how they were scrutinized for every wrong action and a slip-up would be held over their heads for the next 30 years, how they couldn’t tell their family  _ anything _ because it wouldn’t be about them, it would turn into a “how could you do this to  _ us _ , your  _ family _ ” situation. Kala always thought it was sad; she could always go to her amma and baba for anything without being judged. But there must be a limit to how much their acceptance can stretch, and she thinks that not even they would be able to wrap their heads around this semi-new relationship that she finds herself in. She’s not even sure that  _ she  _ can wrap her head around it - much like most things in her life for the past two years, she isn’t sure how they got to this point. Kala is a talker, she talks through  _ everything _ , yet somehow she, Wolfgang, and Rajan immediately settled into a new dynamic without a second thought. 

 

She clutches her cup and bites her lip. The more she thinks about it, the more she’s sure that there’s no possible way this will work, because two of them are connected to 6 other people and that would be considered confusing enough for  _ two  _ people to navigate through in a relationship, much less  _ three _ . She knows her love for Rajan isn’t at the level it is for Wolfgang, so is it fair, is it selfish to be doing this? She should be happy with one, why isn’t she just going with Wolfgang like she planned, what is she  _ doing?  _ But shouldn’t she be giving Rajan a chance when she knows she’s beginning to love him? She and Rajan are married and this  _ must  _ break some sanctity of marriage, and what would their  _ neighbors _ think, oh no, what if this came out during Rajan’s trial and it shouldn’t matter but it  _ would _ and  _ there’s no possible way this will work _ \-  

 

Kala slams her mug down on the table, breathing heavily, and a hand cups her face. 

 

“Hey, I’m here,” Wolfgang mutters softly, and Kala closes her eyes, letting herself be in the moment and allowing the peace to wash over her. Wolfgang thinks he’s not good at comfort, which Kala thinks is one of the greatest tragedies in the world. She needs that strength, the quietness, the ability to let her just ramble out all her insecurities and worries, the simple gift of just  _ holding  _ her, calming her, like Wolfgang is doing now. 

 

She opens her eyes then, and looks into Wolfgang’s eyes. 

 

“Go on,” he says, his eyes locked onto hers and his hands still cradling her face. “You’ll feel better asking it, and it’s time we spoke about it.” 

 

“Are you all right...with this? With us, the three of us?” Despite his reassurance, she feels silly specifying it, feels silly even  _ asking  _ because she knows. She knows the answer, but she needs the clarification, needs to hear it from him. 

 

“I’m more than all right,” Wolfgang says, a glint in his eyes. The beginning of a smile tugs at his lips. “You would know it if I wasn’t. I fucking love it, Kala.” 

 

Kala focuses her eyes to his shirt, which she’s been playing with and knotting in her hands. Rajan had told Wolfgang it would look nice on him in the shops a few days ago, she remembered. “And...but...Rajan, you…?” she starts, and falters, not knowing how to ask it. 

 

“I like him,” Wolfgang says, answering her unspoken question. He chuckles and adds, “I wouldn’t be with him on this little outing if I didn’t,” and Kala blinks and is at the outdoor cafe where Wolfgang and Rajan are, and Rajan is looking excitedly at the spot where Kala is supposed to be and giving a little wave. Kala giggles, giving a wave back. 

 

“She waved,” Wolfgang says, and Rajan gives a delighted squeal. 

 

“Look,” Wolfgang says, putting the now-cooled mug back in her hands. “Do I love Rajan the same way I love you? No. But there’s a…” he looks at Rajan, and fondness crosses his face. “There’s something about him,” he says, turning back to Kala. “And not just a superficial attraction. He’s kind, loving. I don’t know what it is yet, what draws me to him, but there’s something I didn’t notice when we were together, and I want to experience it, I want to experience  _ us _ . All of us.” 

 

“Don’t you worry it might fail?” Kala whispered, too afraid to raise her voice even a little higher. 

 

“It might,” Wolfgang shrugged, and he actually smiles this time. “But it might not. Kala, I fell in love continents away with a woman who I only saw in my mind. That’s not exactly something most people would say is a relationship that would succeed, but here we are.” 

 

Kala smiled and tried to hold back the tears that were dangerously close to spilling from her eyes. “That’s true,” she choked out. 

 

Rajan cleared his throat, and Kala looked at him, back at the table. 

 

“I suppose we’re having the conversation that Will and Felix keep pushing us to have?” Rajan asked, his eyes going back and forth between Kala and Wolfgang (for someone who couldn’t see her, Kala thought he was doing remarkably well at looking at her). “I would have preferred we all be here in person for it, but-” he looked at Kala’s spot and smiled. “I think that’s life now, and if we are all actually going to do this, be together, then I shall have to be used to that as well.” 

 

“So you’re alright with this? With all of us?” Wolfgang asked, and Kala could have laughed at that moment, hearing the same question again, hearing Wolfgang’s own insecurity leak through despite his best efforts. 

 

“Wolfgang, I know we have not known each other long, but believe me, if my wife had told me that she was with another man, my response would not be to secretly resent them while also being  _ with  _ both of them,” Rajan said, almost laughing at the end, and Kala almost laughed with him. Of  _ course he wouldn’t, _ she thought. Rajan may not have been psychically linked to her but he was clear about his emotions, always. She didn’t need to be in his body to know how he felt; Rajan would always say, always let them know. 

 

“I’ve loved Kala since I first laid eyes on her, but I didn’t truly know all of her,” Rajan continued. “Not until now, and now that I see who Kala  _ truly  _ is, I love her all the more. And you,” he said, shifting his gaze to Wolfgang. “In a way, we started out this marriage with the three of us. I may not have known it, but we truly did. This relationship has always been us three - whatever I loved about Kala then, included you as well. And how could I not love someone who my dear Kala loves with all her heart?” 

 

“But I would not be with you if I didn’t want to be, Wolfgang,” Rajan continues. “Being with you, I see what Kala sees, and I love what I see. There’s a multitude of wisdom in you, and there’s a light that you have and it’s one that I  _ want  _ to see - from both of you. I didn’t know you or Kala, not  _ really _ , and you didn’t know me. I  _ want  _ to continue this and get to know you, and  _ love  _ both of you, and it is all right if you or Kala do not feel the same way right away, because I can wait and -” Whatever Rajan is about to say is cut off by Wolfgang suddenly pressing his lips to Rajan’s, his hands moving up to hold Rajan’s face in his hands. 

 

“He rambles when he’s nervous. Like you,” Wolfgang tells Kala, the two of them watching as Rajan’s eyes widen in the kiss until he closes them and leans in. Wolfgang breaks the kiss and smiles at Rajan now.

 

“I want to continue it too,” Wolfgang says, and he looks over at Kala, Rajan’s face following his gaze, and Kala’s suddenly hit with the knowledge that she’s the deciding factor, because if it’s not unanimous it’s not happening and it’s terrifying and beautiful all at the same time. 

 

She looks at them. Wolfgang’s hands are still cradling Rajan’s face and Rajan has a big sunshiney grin on his face that he gave up trying to hide about five seconds into the kiss. She’s struck with a thought - being with Wolfgang is like a giant burst of light, fiery and passionate and all-encompassing and sometimes it felt like if she were to look in for more than a few moments it’d be almost too much, but a bright, consistent light all the same. Rajan was more moonlight, soft and romantic and fine,  _ maybe  _ people think that moonlight isn’t that important as the sun but she’s a scientist, thank you very much, and she knows that the moon is  _ wildly  _ important and it’s-

 

“Kala, please stop thinking and just  _ tell  _ them already,” Lito moans from beside her, and Wolfgang laughs, dropping his hands from a confused Rajan’s face. “You’re giving me a headache and you  _ know  _ I don’t do well with them so-” 

 

“All right, all right,” Kala says, giving Lito a look until he gets the hint that it needs to be the three of them for right now, and he graciously goes back with no complaint. 

 

She looks back at Wolfgang and Rajan and nods. She thinks she’s in Wolfgang’s place now, because she’s where  _ he  _ should be and Rajan’s looking straight at her and Wolfgang is next to  _ him _ and it’s perfect because now they can  _ all  _ hear what she has to say and she’s hit with a fear but also a strange sense of freedom because despite herself she thinks it’s going to be okay.  

 

“I’ve been worried about the rules for our relationship,” she said, looking down before making herself look back up at the two. “I thought it was my responsibility as a wife to be with Rajan only, and then I thought I had to choose one person but...a very wise friend of Nomi’s told me that perhaps there are no rules in a situation like this.  _ We  _ want this, and we deserve to see where this will go. Whether…” she clears her throat, and drains the last of her cold chai. “Whether it goes somewhere or not, it’s our choice, and we will take that journey  _ together _ .” 

 

_ Together _ ,  _ that’s right _ , she thinks, and her mind races. Schedules, she can make schedules so they can have date nights, and maybe they can have another talk about how far they want to go with each other, but that will have to wait until Rajan and Wolfgang actually come home, and figure out if they want to tell their families or keep it a secret and they’ll talk to Daniela and Hernando and Lito because they have some sort of polyamorous dynamic even if it’s not romantic with Dani but still, a helpful resource and - 

 

“Kala, please, I am begging you to  _ stop _ , and just kiss them already,” Lito groans. 

 

Kala shushes him, but even as Lito dramatically rolls his eyes and goes back to his couch, she thinks he’s right. 

 

They can plan out the details later, but right now, Kala is going to kiss her boys. 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] The Bubble](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15002519) by [Night (Night_Inscriber)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Night_Inscriber/pseuds/Night)




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